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There is no correct way to grieve. The Bereavement Service at Beatson Cancer Charity can help, from information and advice to more structured support.
The risk of love is loss, and the price of loss is grief (Hilary Stanton Zunin, 1972)
Grief is the process of responding to or reacting to loss. Grief can be difficult and stressful and nearly everybody goes through it at some point in their lives. Grief is a personal journey and impacts everyone differently, it is important to remember that there is no right or wrong way to grieve. It is common to feel a mix of emotions such as sadness, anger, disbelief, and/or guilt. It is also common to feel numb. Some people may struggle to stop crying, while others may not feel able to cry at all. It is normal to struggle to sleep, or, to sleep too much. Some may find they lose their appetite, or feel they are eating more than usual. Physical feelings are also common, such as feeling sick, experiencing muscle aches, and/or headaches. It is normal to feel a loss of hope, and to struggle to adapt to a change in purpose. Much like there is no set way to grieve, there is also no set time frame for when this experience is ‘complete’. Rather, our grief remains whilst life expands around it.
The aim of the Bereavement Group is to support people who are grieving someone that has died of cancer to live a rich and meaningful life alongside their pain and grief. This group is focused upon providing individuals with a better understanding of the grieving process; helping develop skills to manage the difficult thoughts and feelings that can arise in grief; and provide a space to reconnect with what matters most to them. The group is based upon an Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) framework, which acknowledges that both the physical and emotional pain of grief are normal human experiences.
ACT aims to support individuals in living a rich and meaningful life, while effectively handling the pain and distress that inevitably goes with it. The term acceptance does not mean ‘giving up’, or’ giving in’, but finding new ways to face challenges with acceptance; being open to them as they are, without trying to avoid or struggle against them. ACT combines mindfulness skills with the practice of self-acceptance to help keep us closely connected to our personal values and goals, rather than our thoughts and feelings – which may at times feel very overwhelming and be unwanted. Often, we can struggle with these unwanted experiences and may spend great effort trying to make them go away. Unfortunately, our attempts to get rid of the emotional pain can unintentionally lead to more suffering.
Instead of trying to make physical and/or emotional pain go away, ACT aims to help us ‘mindfully’ accept these difficult experiences without the struggle, and to move towards the values which truly matter to us.
Alongside the Bereavement Group, at the Beatson Cancer Charity we also offer information on other services and can provide preparatory 1-2-1 support if required prior to the group programme. Our support starts with a conversation, we will work with you to identify a support pathway which is tailored to you and your needs.
Bereavement affects us all, so please be gentle on yourself and those around you 💛
For more information about our Bereavement Service please visit our website here.
